Lunch with Big Mike

The other day everyone at work was clammoring about Michael Phelps and his diet. He has to eat 8-10,000 calories a day.

"How does he eat that much?" They say. "He must eat all the time and be so sick of it."

Apparantly, no one has heard of Big Macs and Ben & Jerry's. 10,000 calories? No problem. Suck down some of that stuff and you've hit the mother load. Seriously. I sat down the other night with a little bit of ice cream.....1200 calories before commercial time.

Heck, a double cheesburger, large fries, and large pop gets you to 1870. Wash that down with a small tub of dairy product and you're at 3,070! Three meals a day = 9,210, and we haven't even snacked yet people!

So, all Mikey has to do is hit McDonald's and he's hit his calories, no big deal.

....of course, there are possible side effects:

1. Horkin' cookies in the pool. 5/10 point deduction.

2. Slower speeds due to drag coefficiancy created by bat-wing underarms.

3. Over lubricated intestinal tract leads to embrassing incidents with razor suit.

4. Occupation of 2 lanes in the pool not encouraged

5. Dead by 30.

Other than that, I think I've solved ol' Mike's dilema.